Frustration

This has been a frustrating day for me.  Aside from the snow that needs to be cleared again, (and how frustrating is it for those of us that get cold and wet clearing that stuff to hear people say how pretty it is, or how much fun it is to play in?  I am all for a positive attitude, but come on! And I don't even get the benefit of a snow day! I HAD to go out in this garbage! Grrr...)

I am frustrated at myself, because I am letting my feelings of inadequacy from HS creep up on me again.  I feel "uncool" and wonder why people became my friend on myspace or facebook if they won't communicate with me.  I left you a message!  I asked a question!  Why won't you respond??  I am sure it is something like they are simply busy and haven't had a chance, but I didn't say my feelings made sense, now did I?

I am frustrated with the people I work with who have become L-A-Z-Y and don't want to do anything more than they "have" to.  I can't believe anyone signed up to become a teacher actually thinking that they would be done at 3, and if they did, then they should reexamine their career choice.  We are dealing with little human beings here, not statistics or car pieces.  They need us, all of us, and sometimes that means we will have to stay a little longer.  Perhaps that means you will have to find a babysitter that will let your kids stay a few minutes later.  Or maybe you will have to leave your kids at home one night without you.  We survived being left with a baby sitter, so will they.  Might even make them stronger human beings, who knows?

I am beyond frustrated that something I thought I was over has resurfaced and is causing me inner turmoil.  And the worst part of this is that I brought it on myself!  I posted a picture of a former friend of mine that I knew might raise some discussion about her and I thought I was okay with that.  I wasn't.  All of a sudden, my old feelings of hurt are coming back again. It has been years, and I find myself all twisted, like the rift happened yesterday.  Stupid, and this makes me angry at myself.

I am frustrated at people who talk behind my back, and tell others everything I say.  I am frustrated that my life does not seem to be where I wanted it to be at this point, but feel helpless to do anything to change it.  I am frustrated that my good intentions never seem to turn out right. And I am frustrated that I cannot keep a stupid poinsettia plant alive!

I know this seems like I am heading into some deep depression, but I am not, truly.  Sometimes I just need to vent and get the crap out before I explode, usually at the wrong person.  I appreciate any of you that took the time to read this, and know that I am really just fine.  Nothing a little chocolate and a coke can't help cure!